What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 08:22
But it wasn’t much.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
How can I get over a break up?
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Was to survive, this bastard.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Why do some men like anal sex?
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Trump must stop the AI bloodbath before it’s too late - The Hill
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I waited trembling.
Have you ever had sex with your female cousin? How did it start?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My life is so biszare .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
When sharing a wife, is it best with your buddy or a stranger?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Which is the correct Tamil New Year, Thai-1 or Chithirai-1?
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was scared of men, in general
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
On Which Part of the Body Might One Wear Winklepickers? - Slate Magazine
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Why did Kakashi use Chidori against Rin, despite knowing about her feelings for Obito?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I will be 64.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Why can’t the British eat or drink anything unless they place a table cloth on the table first?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
This is soul school!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I was seconnd youngest,
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I was 9 years of age.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I think the readers, may guess!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Why did i forgive my father ?
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She wouldn,t have been !
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Would this be the day?
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Especially a lifetime of it.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
As i do to all so called friends.?
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Put me off passion for life!!
I was very sick at this time too.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
It was going to be , some day.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But, we were locked up after school.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Who then, do I blame.?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She found it foreign!.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
My family never makes their pension either.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
All the time i was locked up.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She loved him until the end.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She married twice! .
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I never cut or harmed myself..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She was in good health!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I write beautiful poetry .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
So whats the point in blame.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
When she asked me how she looked .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I couldn’t, believe it.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Comes on , in middle age.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I could never make a relationship work though!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And i lived it daily.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I said to her
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Ive learnt so much.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He resisted the act ,that day.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I don,t even have a pension.
One cannot live in the past .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
What did i know ?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I have no regrets .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
We all went to grammer schools
We were not on the streets..
So, i spoilt her more .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But ive been too sick for many years..
He knew the spot.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Im still living with it.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!